My Pants Will Say What?

by Neva Bodin

Recently I received a magazine in the mail know105182105411111CDPn as Website Compass. It is touted as “The World’s #1 Internet Magazine.” And it’s scary!

http://websitecompass.com/subscribe.htmen

It says, in the future, my toaster will be able to communicate with my refrigerator, which will then tell its secrets to my smart phone. So far, I am not smart enough for a smart phone, and I’m not sure I want to invite one over if it’s going to share all my secrets! I bet it doesn’t stop by sharing with just the refrigerator!

website magazines2

 

The article,  Smart Revolution, page 2, says “And that’s just the beginning. Some researchers predict that by 2020 there will be 50 billion connected objects—about seven times more than people on the planet.”

I’m beginning to believe we don’t need to worry about revolutions between humans, but revolutions between our appliances! Perhaps that’s fodder for a new sci-fi story. Only it won’t be sci-fi.

Connecting all things virtually is termed “the Internet of Things, (IoT).” People will be able to interact with objects “in helpful ways,” the article contends. My refrigerator will be able to phone me at work and tell me what to pick up on the way home. As if I don’t have enough interruptions!

Benefits touted for the IoT are no more passwords, messages telling me when air quality is poor, sewer information, (like when it’s going to back up maybe? I hope it leaves out the details), advance information about car crashes to emergency responders, pill bottles that will flash me (okay, light up) when I forget my pill, and buildings that will warn me to leave if an earthquake is happening. Will there be no peace?

And who’s going to pay for this technology? Not only will I have to support myself, but a bunch of clamoring inanimate objects who will no doubt have attitudes!

They even predict garbage cans and clothing will communicate problems. Actually, having the garbage can remind someone when it needs emptying sounds okay. But imagine shopping at Walmart, and the noise of multiple electronic voices screaming, “It’s too tight! Take me off! You’re busting my buttons!” breaks your concentration and competes with the instructions your refrigerator is giving you. I bet my tranquilizer pill bottle will be flashing, “Red Alert! Take one now!”

A subtitle in the article says, “Get Ready for Smart Everything.” Baby onesies will monitor my baby’s breathing, pulse, temperature and activity and send it to the doctor, distracting him or her too. My shirt will tell me my heart rate, my pants if I am moving; my jacket will light up, I don’t know why. Contacts will monitor blood sugar, glasses will film videos and send messages, (future romance novel—“her glasses took pictures of his biceps”), and homes will send their information to a cloud system. Some watches already monitor the wearer’s time in the sun and communicate with smart phones. Who needs a mother? Or a brain?

Since civilizations seem to cycle, do you suppose we’ve been this advanced before and that’s what started the caveman movement?Cave man 330px-Caveman_5

Photo of cavemen with no refrigerator in sight, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caveman

 

http://www.nevabodin.net

 

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This entry was posted in communication, Digital Age, Electronic, Extremes, Internet, Virtual communication and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to My Pants Will Say What?

  1. Okay, Neva, you got my attention right away. For me, technology is a recipe for disaster, not because of the technology, itself, but for the human beings who continually take something good and use it for deception and greed. Kind of like politicians – you just can’t trust ’em. Maybe it’s time that human beings start taking responsibility for mundane things like not depending on a manufacturer’s sticker on a lawn mower that warns you not to put your foot under a running mower blade. Although, regarding manufacturer labels, I still want to yank tags off pillows that warn you not to remove them. Good post.

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      I agree, I want to rip those tags off too. Some of those instructions are good for laughs but also show how pathetic our culture has become. Thanks for reading and commenting. I had fun writing it, but the article that prompted my blog was scary.

      Like

  2. Reblogged this on L.LEANDER BOOKS and commented:
    Here are some scary (and funny) thoughts shared by Author Neva Bodin on the Writing Wranglers and Warriors blog today. Happy reading!

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      Thanks for sharing Linda. I could only turn this into humor to take away some of the fear for me of more technology to make us helpless!

      Like

  3. Oh dear! I’m having nightmares of my PJs telling me to get dressed and what to wear. This is an extremely funny post Neva and you had me right from the beginning. As I read further though I realize this actually could become true. Right now I’ve found out that if I lock my keys in the car all I have to do is call my husband (wherever he is) and have him click open locks on the key fob while I hold my iPhone to the car. I couldn’t believe it worked but it does! So the interaction with the toaster and other appliances seems plausible. I might even like the refrigerator telling me what we have to eat so I don’t waste time, but some things are just too unimaginable. What are we supposed to do? Sit on our cans, eat bon bons and watch TV? It definitely would lead to a civilization of severely overweight people, but then I suppose there’s an app for that? Great post – I reblogged on my site. Now I’m checking out what else my smartphone can do – I’ll let you know! lol

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      According to the article, this will all come true. I know, I think we are becoming underachievers now in increasing numbers, why would we strive for something if it’s all done for us? Thanks for reading and the good comments.

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  4. sstamm625 says:

    Funny and informative post, Neva–if disturbing. Yeah, I’m not ready for all that. I don’t have a smart phone yet either and I really don’t want to be that plugged in. No back-talking clothes for me, thanks.

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      Isn’t it amazing what we humans can come up with? And then when it doesn’t work, I am frustrated, and i can’t imagine how mad at my refrigerator I will be if it tells me to get milk when I already have some! Boggles the mind. Thanks for commenting.

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  5. Doris says:

    This is so scary it is funny and you put it into perspective quite nicely. I don’t have a smart phone and only turn the cell on when traveling. Other than my computer and a Kindle I don’t want to be ‘connected’. I prefer my interactions be with other humans and animals, not objects. (Maybe I’m already in the caveman/woman mode *grin*).

    Thank you for this look ‘into the future’ and it doesn’t look too bright. Doris

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      Yes, I had no idea this was already in the works with some of it developed and working, such as the watches timing our exposure to sun and contacts to measure blood sugars. Dick Tracy is beginning to look hopelessly outdated with his two-way wrist watch! thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

  6. katewyland says:

    Reblogged this on Conversations with Horses and Others by Kate Wyland and commented:
    Fun blog about a somewhat scary future. I’m not sure I want my pants talking to my refrigerator.

    Like

    • Neva Bodin says:

      No kidding. I got my title from sharing some of the info in the article with the coffee crowd at my favorite coffee shop and a “mature and wiser” gentleman who caught some of the conversation asked loudly, “My pants will say what?” Humorous but scary is the only thing I can come up with too. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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      • Darla Verlinden says:

        It wouldn’t be so bad if some of those pants said, “Hey, I’m supposed to cover your butt not your kneecaps… pull me up!” 🙂

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  7. katewyland says:

    I love this post. Re-blogged it too.

    Personally I love my smart phone. Would hate to give it up. At the same time I don’t like the idea of Big Brother monitoring my every move. One of the scary things is that it’s a lot easier to hack a frig or house system. The pluses and minuses of technology.

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      Yes, and the article said the house will be sending this data into a cloud system. Sounds real easy to hack into to me. Will anyone care if I take too long a shower or I’m dancing through the house? Or what temperature I keep my thermostat? Drones were bad enough to contemplate! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  8. Mike Staton says:

    Welcome to 1984. Whoops. 2014? Whoops. 2024? That’s closer. Reminds me of the Star Trek Next Generation and the Borg. Our appliances get smart and decide to absorb us. Seriously, it’s all a conspiracy by corporate to learn every little secret about ourselves and we are gladly surrendering our privacy. They’re not what we have in our refrigerators and freezers, what music and TV we watch, how we drive our cars, and if we put electronic devices in our bedrooms … well, I could get into that but I won’t. I’ll leave that to the erotic authors.

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      I can’t imagine how some of the contemporary books will handle all this, especially the romance novels. Yes, we are surrendering our privacy with “selfies” and teens sending erotic pics of themselves already, so to them, it may be no big deal. But, my family had the old adage, “Don’t let the neighbors see your dirty laundry,” having a double meaning of course. Imagine how much the telemarketers will increase their calls because they will know what we might be interested in. But maybe my refrigerator will tell them off.
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

  9. erinfarwell says:

    I love this. I actually read a sci fi book like this. Not only were the appliances “Smart” but they had intelligence as well. In the end they helped save the protagonist but what cracked me up was that in the story, coffee makers went feral and would run around in gangs, vandalizing things. I do think that there are limits to what technology can and should do and it’s frightening to realize that those who develop the technology don’t seem to understand that. Great post.

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      I didn’t know there was any kind of story like that, it seems if we can imagine it, someone can create it. Yes, the pendulum usually swings too far and people don’t seem to understand that’s as dangerous as too far back. Thanks for commenting!

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  10. Comical and concerning, all in one — great post, Neva! All I can say is “I don’t want to be around when all this takes place.” I don’t need my toaster, fridge, or clothes talking to me. My dog and cat, yes, non-breathing things — NO THANK YOU!

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      Agree with you. Although sometimes I might not want to know what the dog or cat are thinking either! Ha. Yours will always say nice things though. It is scary. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

  11. It would be more helpful to me if the refrigerator would notify the grocery store if I was out of something, and that product would be beamed directly to the refrigerator like in Star Trek. This was an interesting post.

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  12. Wranglers says:

    Neva, you are so funny. Give me that Caveman days. LOL I do have a Smart Phone and have had one since they came out. I couldn’t imagine being without it. If my fridge could just make a list and post it on the front of the fridge (Like I do now, with a pencil and pad), that would be nice. Thanks for the info. Cher’ley

    Like

    • Neva Bodin says:

      Yes that would be good, and also list anything getting fuzzy in there. However, if it’s going to share it with something else, I might have to destroy it. It’s unimaginable to me now, but am sure it’s coming. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

  13. Nancy Jardine says:

    Brilliant and definitely terrifying, Neva. I’m scared that in some ways the younger generations have already lost some of their brain function capacity since they’re not using some aspects of it regularly. It sounds like there would be no place for people reading either! I really love the ‘Caveman’ reverse progress image.

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    • Neva Bodin says:

      Thanks Nancy for your comments. I see our culture losing self esteem as they won’t have simple challenges or use for memory and won’t know the satisfaction of achieving something, already happening I think for some. And yet, I see some great young people developing too, though some of them will develop this new technology!

      Like

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