There have been a lot of comments in social media lately about selecting a “word of the year,” something to reflect on during the coming months. Joy, commitment, compassion, and love are words that various friends and acquaintances have selected as their personal “word for the year.” At first, I found this practice a bit odd. What benefit would I receive from having a specific word to meditate on during the coming year? On closer examination of the process, I realize that it is more than that. It is about seeking out, noticing, or sharing that emotion or action on a daily basis. Still, this word thing wasn’t for me.
The word “trust” keeps popping into my thoughts and I’ve begun to ask myself why. I think I’m a trustworthy person. I trust my spouse, child, family, and friends. What does trust have to do with my life?
Then I considered all the things I don’t trust. I don’t trust that my husband and I will be able to sort out our finances. I don’t trust that the last bits of the house re-do will ever be finished. I don’t trust that I’m good enough to take my freelance writing career to the next level. I don’t trust that I have enough time to finish my second novel, continue freelance writing, and meet all of my other responsibilities.
I don’t trust that I’m good enough, yet I don’t trust that anyone else can do the task either. I try to do everything, adding stress to my life and that of my family. I don’t ask for help as much as I could, as I don’t always trust the other person to meet their obligation or do it the “right” way. I live in a whirlwind of stress and action, trying to fix problems, address needs, and complete projects, yet I never trust that it is, or ever will be, enough.
So now I ask: How would my world be different if trust became a daily part of my life? I suspect I would sleep better, trusting that the actions I’ve taken or processes I’ve set in motion will serve their intended purpose. I would send off freelance pieces and expect a positive response rather than worry about potential rejection. I would be more at ease with myself, my family, and my world if I could trust that all will be well.
Or maybe it is more important to trust that all is well. Right here and now, despite all the messiness of my life, all is well. There are things to do, concerns that exist, but if I can trust that all is well then I can see my challenges as goals to meet and not obstacles to overcome. If I could trust that needs will be met, problems will be solved, and my life will unfold as it should, what an amazing year I would have.
Despite my resistance to the idea, my word of the year is “trust.” Do you have one?
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