I have a cell phone that sends swear words to people. Like in the comics. I didn’t know that and hope I haven’t inadvertently offended anyone. It’s a new phone, not a smart phone or android, but it’s unruly.
I didn’t know about the swear words until a friend recently mentioned it while looking somewhat embarrassed for telling me. Shortly thereafter, I sent a message to my daughter. Her reply? “Well, #%@$%#! to you too!” I rechecked my sent message and there was not one swear word in it!
I’m not sure if when my message is too long and takes two pages of the receiver’s phone, that my phone is upset with that, or if something different triggers it. But I don’t appreciate my phone putting “words” in my message.
I also wonder if my phone is possessed or has intuitive powers. The swearing would lead me to believe the former.
It has the power to type what I speak into it—like “dragon speak” if you will. So when I spoke a message that we were going to “Hal and De’s,” the first time I spoke that, it typed it right and I was greatly impressed. A few days later as I sent that message to someone else, it typed, “We are going to hell and deeds.”
Now it committed these atrocities while we were vacationing in sunny Arizona recently, in weather that was 80 in the daytime with lemony sunshine framed by clear blue skies. The nights were 52 degrees and ended with a dip in a heated pool under starry skies. Paradise.
So I remembered my phone’s interpretation when the day after we left paradise, we ran into a blizzard around the border of Utah. It took 3 hours to travel the first 60 miles that morning. It was snowing, and the roads were collecting as much heavy, wet snow as they could while hundreds of semi’s and other vehicles bravely, or foolishly, traveled slowly to the tops of mountains. We were pulling a camper and hoped and prayed we could stay in the line as more and more people pulled over to the side lanes to put on chains or just be rooted to their spot.
Now enter nature’s call. It added more suspense to my trip. At one point the procession stopped. While not really knowing how long it would be, we figured it might be for quite a while as emergency vehicles were starting to drive beside us.
I jumped from our pickup and tore back to the camper. The door was frozen shut. After much poking to get the key in the lock, trying the latch, repeating the process again and again, I got it open. The line started to move!
I slammed the camper door and slipped and slid back to the pickup, still in suspense. Perhaps a half hour later we saw a rest area. Pulling in to it, we soon realized there was no way out! Two semi’s blocked the car exit, five semi’s blocked the trailer/truck exit. All were stuck or had brakes locked up. After a half hour or so, a wrecker managed to winch one semi out of the way so a snowplow who had joined our group was able to lead us out, after we carefully turned our outfit around in a small parking lot.
As we finally drove out of the storm later that morning, I remembered what my phone had said. And I see now it was being intuitive. Yes, we drove out of paradise, and into a hell, and I want you to know, it has finally frozen over!