Long before the Despicable Me movies were created, when people asked me what I wanted for birthday and Christmas gifts I told them minions. No, I don’t want to take over the world, just manage my corner of it a little better. If I had minions, they would do my bidding and wash clothes, do dishes, vacuum the house, dust, clean the bathrooms (my husband would be particularly excited about this), grocery shop, plan meals for the week, and cook them as well. They could wait on hold for 45 minutes until the person I need to speak to finally comes on the line, or do any other task I assign them.
Do not fear, though, for I would be a kind and benevolent minion overlord. They would have soft beds, play time, and chocolate pudding for breakfast. All I’d ask in return is the completion of a few chores each day. I think this would be an excellent trade off.
While the minions went about their business I would be able to do the things I love such as spend time with family and friends, write, create metal clay pieces, spend more time outdoors, and just lie on the couch and not feel guilty because of all the to-dos I’m ignoring. My second book would be finished and the third on its way. The short stories that roam through my brain would be committed to paper and submitted for possible publication.
The world of minions would be a marvelous place, but alas the real world intrudes. I must budget my time and decide how I will spend my precious hours each day. Right now freelance writing, also known as extra income, takes the lead role. Close on its heels is feeding my family and keeping their clothes clean. Then there is teaching classes or camps, running errands, and generally dealing with the bits of life that don’t really fit in a schedule. Writing my book comes next and I am excited that I squeezed in a whole day and a half of that last week. Lastly, the vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, and bathroom cleaning – unless we have company arriving or I just can’t stand it anymore, in which case it moves up the list.
Until I have minions, I muddle through as best I can and my family accepts my limitations. Success is vacuuming a minimum of once a month and at least thinking about dusting. Sweeping the kitchen floor two days in a row is an accomplishment but it doesn’t get washed until people or cats become stuck to it.
If you ever plan to visit me, know that you are welcome, but please call first so I can clean the bathrooms.
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