At work yesterday, one of my colleagues called me “a little bit of a control freak.” She prefaced her statement by saying it might sound like an insult, but she didn’t mean it that way. I didn’t take it that way. I held the thumb and forefinger of my right hand about an inch apart.
“Just a little bit,” I said.
We both knew that was an understatement.
Did I mention that a central part of my job is Document Control? Yeah, that’s no accident.
My colleague’s comment was prompted by my admission to having some anxiety about the project we are beginning to implement next week. I know it will all ultimately work out fine. Sure, there will be hiccups, as there are with any major project, but we’ll work through them. And the entire team has worked hard to ensure that the new system will function much better than the one from which we are upgrading. But, as my colleague rightly pointed out, because I’m something of a control freak, I feel anxious, because I can’t control all the moving parts. I’ve done my best to organize all the data I can, to talk to all the affected people, to ask tons of questions to make sure we all have all the information we need to make the decisions we need to make. And I do trust the team. We’ve assembled a great group of people to get the job done.
But I’m still anxious.
This project sometimes feels like an octopus with way more than eight tentacles. And I’m afraid some unexpected tentacle will tangle us up or sweep our feet out from under us.
Well, that sounds a bit extreme. Hiccups, yes. Flying octopus tentacles, probably not.
But you know what I mean, right? My mature mind knows all will be well. My reptile brain wants every possible i dotted and t crossed. And it knows there are more i’s and t’s than it can count in 40,000 or so documents.
Just a little bit of a control freak. Yeah…
It’s hard to let go and surrender.
But surrender I will.
Because I do trust the team.
And because I don’t want to dream about menacing computer screens or alphabet-flinging octopi. 🙂
Any other control freaks out there? What gets your reptile brain cranked?
Both images from Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org), Public Domain.
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I am the author of the New Adult/Young Adult urban fantasy series, The Light-Bringer:
I have also contributed stories (one fictional and one true) to the following volumes: