This Post by L.Leander, Author of Fearless Fiction
Let’s face it. We all have something that makes us grit our teeth and feel the pressure rising. Be it a friend who always calls at the wrong time, past mistakes that haunt you, not sleeping because your mind is whirling and planning for what you’ll do tomorrow, and dozens of other things.
You can stop the madness if you do a few simple exercises.
- Meditate (try it, it really works!)
- Think about the negative problem in a positive way – it may change the situation entirely.
- Ignore the thing that bothers you (you’ll have to be persistent or it might reappear.)
- Gently tell the person making you emotionally upset that it would be better for you if she only called once a week and at a different time. Explain your situation. Honesty is always best and if he or she gets mad then it becomes their problem and not yours.
- If you have trouble sleeping because you are planning tomorrow there are a couple of things you can do. Keep a notebook beside your bed and journal for 10 minutes about the good things that have happened during your day. It’s relaxing and will help you ignore what’s coming up. Try quiet music and when thoughts interfere tell them to “get out!” I know that one works because I’ve used it for mistakes I’ve made in the past. Think about something or someone you love, a place you love to be ( in my case it’s either my favorite beach in Mexico or our summer home at the lake.)
- If it’s something your spouse does it’s a little trickier, but I find that asking for a little time and being honest about my feelings works. Sometimes your spouse doesn’t even realize there’s a problem.
- Don’t use a clock beside your bed that is red or blue. Be sure it’s green (I’m talking digital here). I learned this one in Day Treatment and it turns out a study was done on this very thing with Bipolar patients who couldn’t sleep. An even better solution is to not have a clock at all. I turn mine on its face before I go to sleep.
- Prayer works, no matter what your faith.
- Delving into your emotional side and figuring out why the problem drives you crazy is good and you may decide it’s not such a big thing at all.
- I have a problem right now that is driving me crazy. I was thinking about it constantly and it often made me cry or go the other way and have such a burst of energy I couldn’t cope. My therapist and I came up with an unusual solution that I’ll share here. I set my phone alarm for every hour I’m up during the day. When the alarm rings I am in the present and as I shut it off I think of where I am right now. If it’s not a good place I then realize it and can take steps to change it, whether it be a short walk, playing with my dog, reading, etc. It takes me out of what I was doing and changes my mood for the better while I do something I like.
I hope some of these solutions help. I’m sure there are many more, but these are the ones that work for me. If you have other solutions or ideas, why not share it in the comments section?
You can find more information on L.Leander here:
You Tube – videos of Inzared, Queen of the Elephant Riders and Inzared, The Fortune Teller
Amazon – Inzared, Queen of the Elephant Riders
Inzared, The Fortune Teller
10 Extreme Tips to Marketing an eBook
10 Extreme Tips to Publishing an eBook
Goodreads
WordPress.com
Amazon Author Page
lleader11@yahoo.com
Writing Wranglers and Warriors 
Thanks for the ideas. I’m sure they’ll be helpful.
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Thanks for the comment Abbie.
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Some wonderful options,Linda. I know the ‘little’ things can drive a person crazy. Thanks for the tips and the best to you. Doris
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Thank you Doris. I’ve had to come up with some creative things and I’m sure everyone has their own book of “what to do when I feel………”
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Great suggestions! I am up right now at 3:44 (woke at 2) because I am thinking of life–past and future things–that bother me or need doing. I hear so much good about meditating and have tried it in mild form and even with prayer my mind starts flitting around on other subjects. Interesting about the digital number color. I did not know that. And an interesting way to re-focus. That in the present exercise I read about lately and find it helpful, but takes practice! Good blog.
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Thank you Neva. I’ve had to learn a lot of things in the last few years to take my mind off things I obsess about and bring it back to a relaxed state of mind. Meditation is good for me and I do it twice a day. I have trouble with my mind flitting around sometimes, but I use a couple of techniques to stop that. One is to think of them as balloons and release them so you can focus on the meditation. Another one is to imagine a door, open it and shove the intrusive thoughts through and close the door. My second meditation of the day is music and my favorite artists are Deva Premal and Miten. I can relax totally and the meditations are only 10 min or less long. You can find them on You Tube.
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These are great suggestions. I don’t usually dwell on things except at night when I’m trying to sleep. I’ll definitely try some of these out. Thanks!
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That’s when we all dwell on things, isn’t it? lol There are probably a lot of other ways out there to quiet the mind but these are the ones that work for me and I sleep restfully. Thanks for the comment!
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Good suggestions, Linda. I obsess about things, too, and generally realize later that they weren’t worth the energy I expended on them. I didn’t know about the digital numbers. I think the numbers on my clock are white–but I can’t remember. Maybe that’s a good sign.
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I was interested in the clock face colors too, Kathy. But now that I’m sleeping “no clock” its better. I agree that obsessing on things end up being not worth it, but during the time they are bothering you they sure are! Thanks for commenting!
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Thanks Linda. My mind goes wild 24/7. It is never quiet. I can push thoughts to the back for a bit. This gets me through the present. I can’t sleep without background noise, usually the TV. I have night terror attacks. I don’t know why, but if I go to sleep on my own, I usually wake up in a sheer panic. I can set the timer for 5 minutes if I’m really tired and that works, but if Del takes the remote from me and shuts off the TV I wake up instantly. Strange how our minds work. My daughter and other family members say I have ADHD, or whatever it is. I guess I probably do, and I think most people do, but I figure if I’ve had it for 63 years, it’s too late to worry about it now. It doesn’t really cause a problem, I just have 50 million things going at once, but I usually make it through all of them if there is enough hours in that day. Thanks for sharing, your blogs always give me deep thoughts. Cher’ley
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Thanks for the comment Cherley. I have never slept well since I was a child, often getting only 2-4 hours of sleep a night. I was actually happy when I found out I was Bipolar and given meds to help me sleep. I feel so much better! Sleep has that effect on me. lol
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Glad you’re able to sleep better. Cher’ley
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I love this post, Linda. I can relate as I go through periods of “mind-mapping” as my mom calls it where I run through all the things that are troubling me as I’m trying to go to sleep. I also worry a lot, especially if something is bothering me and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I didn’t realize the info about the digital clock. Mine have green numbers. I like the idea of setting your alarm every hour and it makes you aware of what you’re doing. I’ll have to try that! My mom also goes through periods of worry and anxiety. She meditates and I bought her a lot of CDs with soothing music. I think when I read (which I set aside time every night before bed) helps me relax.
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Thank you for commenting Sarah. Reading helps me relax, too, and it is a form of relaxation because you are into the book and not the thoughts in your head. I am now meditating in the morning and about 4 in the afternoon as suggested by my therapist and it’s much better. I have time to do a crossword puzzle, my devotions, and read before my meds kick in and I fall asleep. So much better!
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Great suggestions! Isn’t frustrating when your mind won’t turn off? Right now my leg often keeps me awake, so I end up stewing about things. Arrggg! Glad you’ve found some helpful techniques.
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Yes, it is frustrating when your mind won’t turn off. I mentioned in the post a couple of things i do to stop that, but if my back is giving me fits it’s pretty sure those won’t work because all I can think about is the pain. Sometimes I end up getting out of bed, having camomile tea or hot chocolate and that will help.
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Very helpful and informative post, Linda! Lately my awake time has been 4 or 4:30 am. I think because of the time change, the earlier daylight, the birds singing, and of course those pesky things called THOUGHTS! I’m hoping to get up to my cabin this weekend for some R&R and AWAY from the TV, news, internet, etc. — that will rejuvenate me, I’m sure (and hopefully help me to sleep in a little!) Enjoy your weekend and I hope you’re able to get to your lovely lake soon.
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News flash! We are moving to the lake for the summer today! Everything is done and we’re ready and excited. I sleep so well there, who couldn’t with frogs croaking and birds chirping all night. I hope you get a lot of relaxation out of your weekend. I am having problems with it getting light so early, too. It just doesn’t seem right!
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I almost always go to sleep immediately I lie down – so long as I’ve read at lest a few pages of a novel. I think I’m probably quite good at shutting off things that might annoy me but your suggestions are good ones, Linda, if the need occurs. Have a great time at your holiday retreat.
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Remember Leo Buscaglia, the Dr. Love of the 1970s? I was very much into him back in those days. I did meditation. Calmed my mind, focused on a single word or thought, wove peaceful fantasies in my mind. Once, I actually felt myself drifting into an alter reality, so to speak. It scared the crap out of me. I never could get that relaxed again.
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Thanks for sharing. There are a few ideas here I may need to try.
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