How to Stop The Thing That Drives You Crazy

propic11_1This Post by L.Leander, Author of Fearless Fiction

Let’s face it. We all have something that makes us grit our teeth and feel the pressure rising. Be it a friend who always calls at the wrong time, past mistakes that haunt you, not sleeping because your mind is whirling and planning for what you’ll do tomorrow, and dozens of other things.

You can stop the madness if you do a few simple exercises.

  • Meditate (try it, it really works!)file000896583812
  • Think about the negative problem in a positive way – it may change the situation entirely.
  • Ignore the thing that bothers you (you’ll have to be persistent or it might reappear.)
  • Gently tell the person making you emotionally upset that it would be better for you if she only called once a week and at a different time. Explain your situation. Honesty is always best and if he or she gets mad then it becomes their problem and not yours.
  • If you have trouble sleeping because you are planning tomorrow there are a couple of things you can do. Keep a notebook beside your bed and journal for 10 minutes about the good things that have happened during your day. It’s relaxing and will help you ignore what’s coming up.  Try quiet music and when thoughts interfere tell them to “get out!” I know that one works because I’ve used it for mistakes I’ve made in the past. Think about something or someone you love, a place you love to be ( in my case it’s either my favorite beach in Mexico or our summer home at the lake.)
  • If it’s something your spouse does it’s a little trickier, but I find that asking for a little time and being honest about my feelings works. Sometimes your spouse doesn’t even realize there’s a problem.
  • Don’t use a clock beside your bed that is red or blue. Be sure it’s green (I’m talking digital here). I learned this one in Day Treatment and it turns out a study was done on this very thing with Bipolar patients who couldn’t sleep. An even better solution is to not have a clock at all. I turn mine on its face before I go to sleep.file0001161786140-2
  • Prayer works, no matter what your faith.
  • Delving into your emotional side and figuring out why the problem drives you crazy is good and you may decide it’s not such a big thing at all.
  • I have a problem right now that is driving me crazy. I was thinking about it constantly and it often made me cry or go the other way and have such a burst of energy I couldn’t cope. My therapist and I came up with an unusual solution that I’ll share here. I set my phone alarm for every hour I’m up during the day. When the alarm rings I am in the present and as I shut it off I think of where I am right now. If it’s not a good place I then realize it and can take steps to change it, whether it be a short walk, playing with my dog, reading, etc. It takes me out of what I was doing and changes my mood for the better while I do something I like.SMARTPHONE 1

I hope some of these solutions help. I’m sure there are many more, but these are the ones that work for me. If you have other solutions or ideas, why not share it in the comments section?

 

 

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10 Extreme Tips to Marketing an eBook

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Fork in The Road

propic11_1By L.Leander, Author of Fearless Fiction

I received the letter “F” for the A-Z Blog challenge.  Since my maiden name is Flory I thought about writing about that, but the Forked Road seemed better-suited to this blog.  I hope you enjoy it.

We have all been down the forked road, but why do some take the left fork and others take the right? Is it that left-handed people take the left and right-handed people take the right? I don’t think so.

I read an article once before I took my children to Disney World. The author of the piece said “Most people tend to take the right entrance to an attraction, while fewer take the left”.  In other words, if you want to get in to the attraction, bathroom, or gate, take the left line because you’ll get there faster. We tried it and the advice was right. We did find the time it took to get in on the left was speedier than the right.

We’ve all seen and traveled down many forked roads or trails throughout our lives.  Some curve Forked Roadaround an ancient tree while others are man-made. They may lead to the same place, or not.

Pretend you need a solution to a problem or have a big decision to make. You sit at the tip of the forked road trying to decide which way to go. Confused and anxious, the decision is waiting to be made. It may be a new move, a new relationship, or anything that will make a big impact on your life.  As you sit contemplating, you cannot decide, thinking about all the “What ifs?”

Deepak Chopra, an internationally known  New-Age guru says, “Get rid of the what-ifs.  It’s not an A or B situation. Don’t control or predict what will happen.”  His suggestion is to sit alone in a quiet place and be still. The answer will come; in fact, your heart always knows the right answer. It’s up to you to tune into your thoughts to know the right way to advance.
thinking

Decision-making is generally difficult for me and perhaps some of you who read this post have the same problem.  I know the issue, I really want to decide one way or the other, but the thoughts go around and around in my head until sometimes they make me physically ill and unable to reach a verdict at all.

I am definitely not a critical thinker and I’ve made snap decisions that ended up without the answers I sought. Sometimes the decision I made was not a good one, so when the next one comes along I worry that I will make the same mistake again.

A Therapist I know shared with me some insight about the forked road. She told me “A decision is just a decision and if it’s not right you can make another decision.”

That advice helped me to see more clearly that even if I make a wrong decision, I have learned from that one and can make a new choice next time. It also made me think about my fear of making good decisions and why it can actually be a learning experience that will help me each time I have an issue.

Here is a passage from the Bible that speaks of a “fork in the road”.

Ezekiel 21:19  Mark out two roads for the sword of the king of Babylon to come; both of them shall issue from the same land. And make a signpost; make it for a fork in the road leading to a city;roadsign

What do you do when you’re picking an editor for your manuscript? Do you research several editors?  If you get the list down to two do you waffle back and forth between the two choices or do you confidently choose the one you believe will have your best interests at heart?

Do you write your latest novel and at some point come to a place where the protagonist must go one way or another? Which fork in the road do you choose for her/him to follow?

Another bit of advice from Deepak Chopra says; “Find a place of total quiet. Make sure there are nomeditation distractions. Clear your mind and sit silently for maybe fifteen minutes. During that time don’t let thoughts race through your mind, instead, focus on the quiet. You may need to do this more than once, but it will put you in the right spiritual place to make the choice, and the answer will be there. Prayer is a very important part of the journey.”

When you stand at the fork in the road, remember this advice and you’ll make the right choice. But if you don’t, remember, you can always make another one!

Here are a couple of quotes on decision-making.

“Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision, a dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind it.”

Gordon Graham

“Don’t even leap to actions and decisions before you’ve found that sense of natural calm, well-being, or enthusiasm.”

Frederick Dodson, Parallel Universe of Self

Courtesy of Goodreads.com

I’d like to share one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost. I’ve always loved it but it means something different to me now that I’m an adult. See if the same applies to you.

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

 Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 Poem courtesy of Poemhunter.com

 Here is a link to an article on decision-making.

The meaning of Fork in The Road.

Bios of Deepak Chopra and Robert Frost

There’s even a joke about the Forked Road (a 2000 year old classic)

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Books by L.Leander:

Inzared Queen of the Elephant Riders Video Trailer

Inzared, Queen of the Elephant Riders

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Inzared, The Fortune Teller Video Trailer

Inzared, The Fortune Teller (Book Two)

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Kids, No Matter What Kind, are Fun

105182105411181CDPby Neva Bodin

My first introduction to goats came in the book “Heidi.” I was fascinated with the job Peter had of taking the goats to pasture, and how Heidi’s health improved drinking goat milk and eating homemade bread and goat cheese. The Billy Goats Gruff, guarding their bridge from the trolls, (http://www.storynory.com/2007/04/22/the-billy-goats-gruff/) and Bill Grogan’s goat eating three red shirts, coughing them up to flag a train and save himself, (http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/b007.html) completed my education on goats. Oh, yes, and I heard they ate anything, including tin cans.billy goats gruff

Then I heard tales from my parents of the goats they’d owned prior to my birth, and how they would jump on top their old car and onto the roof of their two-room house. It seemed they were playful, enterprising, and pesky animals.

As a young mom, I had a friend whose child was allergic to all milk but goat’s milk. And goat butter smelled like a goat. I wondered how Heidi and Peter thrived on it. Did they hold their noses? I tried goat cheese pizza. Once.

DSCN2378Now I am acquainted with goats in the flesh—my grandchildren raise them and show them at fair. They ARE playful, enterprising, and pesky animals. They are also intelligent, stubborn, and great pets.

Next week, I will be at the fair with my grandchildren and their sheep and goats. And I’m sure the goats will exhibit all their known qualities, even though we will hope for the intelligent, compliant, and “great pet” qualities being the only ones exhibited.

Last year, one young goat got tired of waiting for her turn to be judged, and sat down. My granddaughter got help from a friend to make her stand up again.DSCN0690

So far, I have heard tales of the stubbornness, (laying down and refusing to move when being walked for exercise—hmm, might try that), not standing just right (feet even, poised just right for the judge), and refusing to stay inside the fence. The grandchildren have been working with them all summer, since their exciting births early last spring—twins and triplets born the same morning!DSCN2400

But like with all kids, frustration at their stubbornness and ingenuity in getting into trouble, are offset by the soft little faces, heartbreaking cries for love, (especially when they were being weaned) and playful antics. They are entertaining and character building for the owners.

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“Four” grandkids being judged.

I won’t ask for the opinion of my son-in-law who has to build and fix the fences and pens, buy the food, etc. Both he and my daughter are super busy at fair, washing, trimming, hauling and supervising goats and their handlers. Then standing by nervously as a judge questions the human kids, pinches the goat kids, and passes judgment on both types of kids whom the parents love, (as do us grandparents).

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My granddaughters winning ribbons for sheep and goats.

But when it’s done, it’s all worth it—and I’m not kidding!